


blood like lemonade

by PersonalityTest



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: I don't do angst these days, M/M, actually not that much romance outside of a few throwaway lines, it's just eugeo complaining about his life and being done in general, just fluff and stupid shit and dumb boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 20:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19035448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PersonalityTest/pseuds/PersonalityTest
Summary: "Vampires suck." He says. Kirito rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah. That’s kind of the point.” In which Eugeo has a problem, and the problem has fangs. Vampire AU.





	blood like lemonade

**Author's Note:**

> I do dumb shit sometimes, and I feel like I could totally flesh this out more, but I'm lazy. Also Eugeo is so done in this thing, and that's how I think Eugeo should be. He's so done with Kirito's shit. Well, at least I toned down so Kirito isn't oblivious, and I think I like it. They're so smart and so stupid at the same time. It's the absolute best.
> 
> Title from “If You Like Lemonade” by Marcheeba. It’s a continuation of the Umbrella Academy songs trend. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack a lot lately.

He lowers his hands and looks closely at its details. Just like in his memories, there’s a mole at the base of the right thumb, and the back of the left middle finger has a scar which he got during childhood. At that point, he notices something strange about his teeth. They don’t fit right somehow in his mouth, as if someone took a pair of pliers and rearranged them and now everything feels uncomfortable. He starts to run his tongue over his jaw, trying to find the _something strange_ –

“Ah, hell.”

.

.

.

By all accounts, Kirito is a strange person. He doesn’t look like he’s from around here, he doesn’t have any memory of who he is, and he says strange things that sound like a different language altogether. However, the strangest thing he has said so far has to be this.

“Vam…pire?” The unfamiliar word rolls in Eugeo’s mouth. It sounds more like Sacred Tongue than a Common Language word. “What does that mean?”

“Like, uh…” Kirito fumbles. “Lives forever, red eyes, fangs, super strength or something similar, bloodsucker? Yes, no? Maybe?”

Eugeo leans back into the huge cedar tree and takes a moment to think. “Maybe…there could be a creature like that over at the Dark Territory. I’ve never seen, or heard of one though.”

“Damn it, Kikuoka…” Kirito mutters something to himself.

“What was that?”

“Uh, nothing. So, anyway, I have to show you something. Don’t freak out, alright?”

Kirito shows him, and Eugeo freaks out.

“F- You’ve got fangs!” Eugeo squeaks in a higher-pitched voice than he is willing to admit, but then again there’s a vampire, or a bloodsucker, or whatever sitting in front of him. He thinks he’s allowed some leeway to scream like a girl.

“Thanks. Haven’t heard that one before.” Kirito rolls his eyes, but then schools his features into a frown. “…Actually, I haven’t. Memory loss and everything.”

“A-are you going to eat me?” He doesn’t want to die. Well, sort of. Maybe if he could be reunited with Alice after death. Stacia knows this demon tree won’t be cut down in his lifetime, so if his life is going to be a waste anyway, dying as a blood bag doesn’t seem too bad of a way to go.

“Well, it’s tempting.” Kirito tilts his head and sniffs at the air. “Something smells tasty, and I don’t think normal food does anything for me judging from the bread earlier, so it’s probably you. It would be such a waste, though. I like hanging around you.”

Eugeo’s heart beats slightly faster at that, and really? Is he really basking in a vam-something...bloodsucker’s praise? Is that how low he’s fallen? But there was no hint of any lie in Kirito’s words, and anyway, Kirito hasn’t killed him in the entire day they spent with each other, so he could give him the benefit of the doubt. He has to admit, looking at the other boy’s innocent smiling face, that he really was that easy.

“…Alright. Fine. But if you get hungry, what are you planning to do? I’m not going to bring you back just so you could attack everyone in the village.”

“Well, about that, Eugeo-kun. I have a favor to ask.”

…Damn it. So he is going to end up as a blood bag after all.

 

* * *

 

Apparently, people aren’t all tasty to Kirito. Eugeo feels like snorting at the thought that even vampires have a type.

“It’s true!” Kirito insists as Eugeo gets ready to start his work day. “That guy…uh, what’s his name again?”

“Jink.”

“Yeah, him, the slimy one. He smells fishy.”

Honestly, Eugeo could see that. “He’s not the nicest person, yeah, and he used to play some really mean pranks on me.”

“No, no. Well, that too. But I’m saying he literally smells like fish. Fish sauce, the pungent kind. I don’t like fish sauce all that much.” Kirito’s face scrunches up at that, and for a second Eugeo thinks it’s adorable how he looks like a petulant child, and then Eugeo wonders if his brain is okay.

“For a creature who lives on blood, you talk a lot about food.”

Kirito shrugs. “Nothing wrong with that. I like good food. Speaking of food, I’m hungry.”

“Yes, yes…” Eugeo sighs. He takes the Dragon Bone Axe and winces slightly as it cuts a clean line into his palm. “Here you go.”

He sits there and waits patiently, feeling warm breaths and the feeling of fangs tickle against his palm. It’s strange to feel physical contact again. He hasn’t felt the touch of any other person for upwards of six years now, so he fully expected to recoil, especially from a creature who could probably kill him if he so wanted. But if he were honest with himself, this warmth doesn’t feel all that bad. Rather, it feels familiar somehow, only he can’t remember from where.

“Thanks.” Kirito raises his head up and says, wiping some leftover blood with his sleeve. It’ll take forever to wash out, that idiot. “Don’t worry, I’ll earn my keep properly. Five hundred strikes for you, and five hundred for me. Sound good?”

He would never breathe a word of this to Kirito, but for a mythical creature, he has pretty much average strength and below-average ability to handle an axe. That said, Eugeo has never known a creature from the Dark Territory to have a sense of fair play and the concept of earning one’s keep, but he was feeling a little anemic and wouldn’t refuse some help. “Alright.”

 

* * *

 

He could feel blood pooling around him, but not much else. As his consciousness starts to fade, he thinks about how wasteful this must be, all this precious blood going to waste because he couldn’t fend for himself. What use is he as a blood bag now?

“Eugeo…Eugeo!!” Kirito’s voice. Why does he sound so frightened? He’s known Eugeo for a few days. If it’s blood he wants, there are always replacements. He knows a thing or two about replacement. He’s been replaced by his siblings for his mother, by the boys in the village, by _him_ for Alice’s affections –

Who is he thinking about? That smiling boy… He can’t remember. His mind is going blank.

“System call! Transfer Durability, right to left!” Selka’s panicked voice. Eugeo manages to crack his eyes open at that, and he can faintly make out Kirito’s Stacia Window, but something is off. His Life is decreasing as it flows into Eugeo, but it seems to be healing up twice as fast. He’s never seen someone recover Life this fast without the help of a healing potion…

The pain disappears, and so does Eugeo’s last train of thought.

 

* * *

 

Being crazy and reckless and somehow having everything work out must be a vampire trait, Eugeo blankly thinks to himself as the Gigas Cedar crashes down, creating a minor earthquake in their surroundings.

A few weeks after the incident in the Edge Mountains, life is back to normal for the both of them. However, thanks to that, they did find out that what Kirito lacks in strength and magical abilities, he makes up in swordsmanship, agility and superhuman healing.

“So I dumped all my points in AGI and regen…” Kirito said something like that, but Eugeo didn’t understand what he was talking about. Then again, Kirito says a lot of strange stuff.

Ever since then, Eugeo has asked Kirito to teach him the Aincrad-style, and he has practiced day and night on the Gigas Cedar to master the move Kirito taught him. Finally, the tree has lost all of its Life after a few weeks, and here they are.

Eugeo slumps down on the ground, the Blue Rose Sword heavy in his hands, part tired and part shocked. What is he going to do now? His Sacred Task is over, just as he dreamed all this time. He can go to Centoria and find Alice, and Kirito would probably tag along because he’s taken a liking to Eugeo’s blood. Of course, that’s not just it. Kirito is a good person – well, vampire. He’s kind, and brave, and nice to Eugeo, nothing like he imagined what a scary non-human creature should be. He would go if Eugeo asks him to, even without the blood. But could he do that? Could he leave his family behind and set out to live his own life?

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Kirito says as if it’s obvious. It’s clear from his face that he never once thought Eugeo would want to stay behind, even for a second. And really, how is he supposed to win against that? He smiles for the slightest bit and whispers to himself as he takes Kirito’s outstretched hand.

“…You.”

 

* * *

 

 

The day before they are due to leave, during the farewell party, Selka takes him aside. She looks around nervously as if she's scared that somebody would show up, and then finally takes a deep breath and says, "I need to tell you something about Kirito."

Eugeo still remember bits and pieces of that day, but hearing it from her somehow made everything sound more serious. He was very, very near death. His Life was reducing at an alarming rate, and in her desperation she tried to use the command "Transfer Human Unit Durability" to save him. The command should have reduced Kirito's Life as well, but nothing happened. Kirito told her to say "Transfer Durability" instead, and that was how they managed to save his life from the brink of death. 

"I'm grateful that he saved you, but...something is strange about Kirito. If you travel with him, something might happen to you. Please be careful."

He doesn't know what to think. All he feels is overwhelming gratitude. He was never able to let go of Alice, so he has never treated Selka the way she deserved, and yet she still went so far as to worry about him and tell him all this. Of course, she needn't worry about him because Kirito is a good vampire, strange as it is to think about. He seems to genuinely care about Eugeo's well-being, and for some reason Eugeo feels more at peace with him than anyone else, but just thinking about how much she cares for him makes his heart quiver with emotions. He hugs her tightly - Selka squeaks a little at his sudden action - and whispers into her shoulder.

"...Thank you, Selka. It's alright." And adds, as an afterthought. "I need to ask you to do something for me, though."

"Wh-what is it?"

"Please don't tell anyone about Kirito. He..." He struggles to find the right words. "It may sound strange to you, but I trust him with my life. I can't explain it very well myself, but..."

What should he say? Despite knowing Kirito is a vampire, probably from the Dark Territory, and he should be wary of those creatures, he doesn't feel that way towards Kirito at all. There is something familiar about him. It's easier to laugh, and joke around, and just talk about nothing with Kirito. He wonders if the black-haired vampire put him under a spell of some sorts to make him feel this way, but decides against it. Kirito is not that kind of person, and even if that is the case, he wouldn't mind. Eugeo may deny it to Kirito all he wants, but he would offer all of his blood and then some to keep Kirito with him.

"...Okay." Selka finally says as he falters off. "I trust you. Kirito doesn't seem like a bad person, so I'll put my faith in him as well."

His grip around her tightens, and tears prick at his eyes. "Thank you, Selka. I promise, the three of us will return together, for you."

 

* * *

 

They maintain their routine for a while. Kirito looks like a human, doesn’t have horns or tails, looks about as skinny as a toothpick and he eats his full body weight in food. Nobody would ever think he is something not human as long as he doesn’t show them his fangs.

“Super inconvenient though.” Kirito complains. Kirito does that a lot. “I’m still not used to them. They feel weird in my mouth.”

“What a strange thing to say when you’re using them to suck my blood.” Eugeo remarks.

“Stop making sense, Eugeo-kun. You’re killing my buzz.” Kirito spares him a glare and returns his focus to Eugeo’s left hand. It feels like he got himself a grumpy pet cat that likes to nuzzle up against his fingers and then bite them and suck his blood, but if he thinks clearly through the haze of blood loss, he doesn’t know which one is the real pet here. Is it Kirito, who needs his blood because he is picky about everyone else’s, or him, the walking blood bag? Eugeo decides not to think about it too hard. Kirito certainly doesn’t.

“Phew, thanks. Tastes great as usual.” Kirito says once he’s finished, and Eugeo feels like he should be offended at that. He’s not a piece of steak served in a high-class restaurant. Of course, since it’s Kirito, he doesn’t mind. Kirito just says stuff like that. “Now let’s go feed you and make our way to the Zakkaria tournament.”

“You mean feed _you_. You eat way more than me anyway.”

“Good food is good food.” Kirito shrugs. “The food here tastes great to me, and they don’t make me full. The novelty might wear off soon, but I’m enjoying what I can get for now.”

Well, there isn’t much he could say to that, so Eugeo stands up and gets ready to go. He’ll have the last laugh when Kirito gets fat though.

 

* * *

 

A problem with school is that they have different schedules and training hours, and sometimes they would go an entire day without seeing each other. It’s a problem because Kirito is a glutton.

“I don’t think you get to say that when you’re literally starving me.” Kirito glares at him. “If I could carry your blood around in a vial, I would. I was seeing stars in my eyes at practice today. Even Liena-senpai felt bad and told me to retire early.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll try to get back early next time. It’s just that today Golgorosso-senpai was teaching me this move, and we lost track of time.”

“Tell me that later. I’m hungry.” Kirito says in a voice that reminds him of a cat yowling. Yep, a vampire grumpy cat. It shouldn’t sound cute, but it is.

“Fine…” Eugeo lets out a long-suffering sigh, and uses a pocket knife to slash a small part of his forearm. Apparently it tastes better there than his fingers, since it’s closer to his veins. The closer to the heart, the better blood tastes, apparently. Eugeo doesn’t know how vampires work, so he just takes that at face value and offers up his arm like a sheep going to the slaughter.

“Please.” Kirito snorts when Eugeo says that. “You would be the meanest sheep ever. Always nagging and taking jabs at me and all that. Plus, a sheep would be fluffier.”

Eugeo is slightly offended at that, so they tussle for a while until Kirito admits that fine, Eugeo’s hair is fluffier than a sheep’s, and finally he settles down so Kirito could sink his teeth in his arm.

After more than a year, he should be used to this by now. If he opens his Stacia Window, he could probably see his Life decrease bit by bit – Kirito often takes around an eighth, maybe a fifth of his Life if he’s particularly hungry, like today. He would never get used to the ticklish feeling of hair and warm breath against his skin, though. It feels nice and pleasant, just a little strange. Though, he does wonder why it’s just him. Picky as Kirito is, there must be someone else that could substitute…

“Hey, Kirito. What would Liena-senpai taste like for you?”

“Hmm?” Kirito’s voice is muffled. “I don’t know. I’ve never tried. Probably some kind of flower, like a perfume. It smells nice, but I don’t want to drink perfume, so I’d rather not.”

“Then what about me?” Does he smell like food or something? Stacia help him, does he really smell like a piece of steak?

Kirito looks deep in thought, maybe even a little conflicted. “Let’s see, if I have to describe it… you remember that bakery on sixth?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, it feels like I’m sitting in there, next to the window. There’s a bouquet of roses on the table. It’s autumn, and I could feel the cool air and some slight wind. And across the street, there’s a cof – I mean, kohiru shop, and I could smell autumn, a hint of roses, kohiru and freshly baked pie at the same time. And it feels so comfy and peaceful that I would happily die wrapped in that feeling. Like that.”

If he were drinking tea, he would have choked on it. What is with _that_ answer? What conclusion is he supposed to take from it? He’s had a hunch, but it does seem like what Kirito smells from a person’s blood shows his feelings toward that person, so what is Eugeo? He would die for him? He’s a hopeless addict? Is he supposed to take it as a confession? What if he’s misunderstanding and it were something completely innocent?

Well, even if he wasn’t human, Eugeo wouldn’t mind per se. Aside from Alice, Kirito is the person closest to him. Eugeo would happily volunteer himself up as a sacrifice if it meant Kirito would stay with him, and he perfectly knows what that says about how he feels towards Kirito. He needs to make sure, though.

“...I’m just asking, but are you aware of what you’re saying to me?”

Kirito wouldn’t look him in the eye. “Of course. I’m not an idiot. We can’t, though. You have Alice, and I…”

Eugeo’s frantically beating heart stops dead in its tracks. “You...what?”

“I…” Kirito swallows. “I...might have someone. I don’t know. It’s not like I can remember.”

Memory loss. Right. Yes. “Then what are we supposed to do?”

“Stay like this and deal with it as we go along?”

Eugeo’s glare at his nervously chuckling partner plainly says how stupid he thinks that idea is, but it isn’t like he has anything better in mind. Honestly, when did his life get so complicated?

“Alright, fine. Let’s do that, then.”

 

* * *

 

Aside from the fact that he lives with an amnesiac vampire who gets drunk off his blood and who he might like and likes him back but they can’t be together because reasons, life is surprisingly normal at the academy.

Right off the bat, they agree that Tiese and Ronye can’t know. The girls would freak out, Integrity Knights would mobilize to exterminate Kirito, and Eugeo doesn’t need another reason to hate Integrity Knights. However, their packed schedule means that they’ll have even less time alone for Kirito to do his thing, and so he finds himself having no other choice but to donate blood every morning into a few vials for Kirito to carry around.

“You’re bleeding me dry.” Eugeo complains one night, when they finally have some breathing room and Kirito wouldn’t stop craning his head to get better access to Eugeo’s neck.

Right, that too. After that conversation a while ago, Kirito pretty much did away with all the pleasantries and told him, plain and simple, that he would like to be a bitey little leech somewhere above Eugeo’s collarbone because it tastes much better. Apparently his arm is decent quality grocery store meat and his neck is somewhere around top tier fifty gold coins steak from the best restaurant in Centoria. Whatever, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that he nods and tries not to wriggle away when Kirito’s hair tickles his neck.

“It’s not my fault it tastes good.” Kirito protests against his neck. “You spoiled me, so you have to take responsibility.”

“Or I could just give you a few vials every day and be done with it. You ever think about that?”

“Nope.” Kirito says, popping the ‘p’. A drop of blood trails down Eugeo’s collarbone. “I would whine and scream until you give me what I want, don’t think I won’t.”

Depressingly, he knows Kirito would do just that, so he shuts his mouth and sits there, quietly suffering and feeling a tingling sensation throughout his entire body. He complains, but it doesn’t feel bad, per se. It’s just that Kirito is getting more and more dependent on his blood lately, and what will happen to him when Eugeo isn’t around?

“Hey, among all the people around us, does anyone seem like they’d taste nice for you?”

“Let me see.” Kirito’s voice vibrates against his neck. It’s warm and ticklish. “Ronye’s is like vanilla, sweet but not my type. Tiese smells like fresh grass, which isn’t too bad if worse comes to worst. Humbert and Raios...yikes, it’s like swamp mud and day-old dead fish. I’d rather die than drink that. Anyone else? Azurika-sensei? The rain, I guess. ...Well, it’s a mix. The girls are nice, but a lot of the guys here are stuck-up nobles, and I think they’d taste unpleasant. None of them compares to you, of course.”

“I feel so loved.” Eugeo says, not without a little sarcasm, though he is getting a little lightheaded. He must have lost a quarter of his Life by now. “Aren’t you done yet?”

“Well, I’m hungry.” Kirito says, matter-of-factly. Eugeo sighs.

“Vampires suck.” He says, like it is the realization of a lifetime, and finally Kirito raises his head up. His fangs, dripping with blood, still stick out a little, and he looks about as disheveled as Eugeo feels. It’s not a bad look on him. Kirito rolls his eyes, as if Eugeo’s preaching to the choir, and wipes a few stray drops of blood off his neck.

“Well, yeah. That’s kind of the point.”

 

* * *

 

He sits in a huddle. His blood probably tastes like iron right now, but Kirito doesn’t say anything.

He didn’t mean for it to end like this. Tomorrow, they will be taken to Central Cathedral, not as Integrity Knights, but as prisoners to be executed. Kirito would definitely die once they find out what he really is, and Eugeo…he would almost be glad to follow Kirito. It seems like a better end than he could ever have expected, for a monster like him.

“I won’t let you die.” Kirito says into his neck as if he’d read his mind. “We’ll get in there, rescue Alice, and then escape. And you’re not a monster. Believe me, I would know.”

“I might as well be. I have nowhere to go now.” He says, his voice faint and frail. Kirito wraps his arms around him and burrows deeper into his neck. He doesn’t even feel the pain from the fangs anymore. All he feels is his partner's warmth, and he clings to it like a drowning man.

“I’ll take you with me.”

Two monsters together, but to where? The Dark Territory? Would a human survive there? Has anyone tried?

“Maybe the Dark Territory.” Kirito says, in an unfathomable voice. “Maybe somewhere past that. As long as you want it, I’ll take you with me, beyond even this world.”

That sounds nice. He would like that. It’s a promise, he whispers something to that effect as he finally loses all consciousness from the fatigue and stress.

 

* * *

 

 

They escaped from the prison, just as Kirito promised, and fought one Knight after another. Apparently they’re intruders from the Dark Territory to these Knights, and Eugeo could laugh at the irony. They’re only half wrong. Sometimes, like now, after they fought Fanatio, they take a rest stop so Kirito could heal up from all the injuries he got from recklessly fighting, though he is careful not to take too much Life from Eugeo.

“How are you doing? Do you need more blood?” Eugeo asks in a worried voice while Kirito slouches down against the wall. He heals up impossibly fast, which is probably the only reason why he has survived this long, but he gets hungry faster the more he has to regenerate. It’s vampire logic, so Eugeo doesn’t try to understand.

“No, I’m fine. You need to keep your strength, so I can make do for now.”

He eyes Eugeo’s neck hungrily every now and then, so he’s lying, but Eugeo has to admit it makes sense. It would do them no good for Kirito to take too much and Eugeo ends up collapsing from anemia.

Of course, since this is apparently his life now, he ends up getting separated from Kirito after the battle with Alice and has to make the trek up on his own.

I have to hurry, he thinks. Kirito will be alone, and if he gets too hungry what will happen? Would he take Alice’s blood? With how much he is addicted to Eugeo’s, he might refuse even if she offers. He knew it was a bad idea to spoil Kirito, but he couldn't help it. Now they’re separated, and he has to climb up floor after floor hoping he could reunite with Kirito before his partner goes mad from hunger or something. His mind is filled with such thoughts as he reaches a huge bath, and then he doesn’t have the luxury to think at all.

 

* * *

 

His mind is hazy. The command resounds endlessly in his brain, telling him to eliminate all enemies to the Church. It is all for that person’s sake, and for that person he would do anything.

The enemy before him is armed with a sword as black as night. He looks absolutely heartbroken and says something about Alice or Rulid or whatever, but Eugeo dismisses it like he would squash out a bug. Why would he care about that?

And then they get to the fight. The golden knight doesn’t move, which he thinks is a stupid idea, but he doesn’t care. It’s better for him that way, since fighting two people is a pain even if one is as weak and sluggish as this boy. He seems to be close to losing his consciousness, as if he’s fatigued from hunger. Who would be stupid enough to fight an Integrity Knight in that state?

He’ll make quick work of this, Eugeo thinks, as he deflects and blows him away with Sacred Arts, but the boy manages to strike a hit through his armor and blood stains his arm. Instantly, something in the boy’s eyes change. Eugeo could see the moment reason drains out of his midnight black eyes, as if he has lost even his sanity. His strikes turn heavier, more reckless, almost instinctive. There is a crazed, bloodthirsty smile on his face that nearly scares Eugeo, and Eugeo finds himself on the defensive as he is backed to the wall, blocking one attack after another.

His feet hit the wall; fear runs up his spine as if he were a cornered animal. Eugeo blocks a strike so heavy it makes his arms tremble, and the boy lunges at him, his eyes flashing red. Sharp fangs bury themselves deep in his neck, and together with the pain comes euphoria and a host of memories.

 

* * *

 

He is reminded of two years ago. He was close to losing consciousness just like this, and Kirito was just as desperate to save him as he is now.

“System call! Transfer Durability, self to left!” Kirito cries out, and Eugeo has half a mind to tell him to stop, but he can’t even muster up the strength to speak.

His Life is depleting. Healing. Depleting again. Kirito is losing more Life than he’s self-healing, and for the first time Eugeo sees his partner’s Life dip below half. At this rate, Kirito might die trying to save him. He can feel his bones and skin knitting together, but what if it’s not enough? He would never forgive himself if Kirito, who should by all rights be immortal, died because of him. He has gone all this way, gave up more of himself than he thought he could ever give anyone, just so he could keep Kirito alive and by his side. It would be the cruelest joke in existence if Eugeo were to be the cause of his death, and he refuses to be part of that joke.

I want to live, he tells the soft rays of Solus’s light beyond the windows. Please help me. I don’t want him to die for my sake.

He imagines blinding rays of light flowing into his body. After a few seconds that feel like an eternity, Kirito’s Life stops going down, and then starts to tick up again. The moment both their Lives reach an acceptable level and Eugeo no longer looks like he’s bursting at the seams, Kirito lets go of his hand and collapses on him.

“Let’s never do this again.” Kirito says, exhausted. Eugeo feels just as tired, and he wants nothing more than to sleep for three days straight like this.

“Yeah.” He manages to say. They just lie like that for a while, too exhausted to even move. The smell of his blood is all around them, but Kirito probably likes it. Typical vampire. His childhood-friend-turned-vampire. Eugeo thinks it's fate – no matter how many years pass and memories disappear, he and Kirito could never stay apart. His heart would beat faster if it wasn't already trying to escape his ribcage, like it can’t believe it’s still alive.

His breathing calms, and his strength gradually returns to him until he can actually form complete sentences now. Despite everything that has happened, he can’t stop himself from adding a jab because much as he loves him, Kirito has been a leech for a good part of his life and he’ll take his revenge when he can. “How does it feel to be the one bled dry for once?”

Kirito’s face scrunches up against him. “Terrible. Having your Life drained out of you sucks.”

“You tell me. It’s a real pain in the neck, isn’t it?”

Kirito looks absolutely disgusted at his lame joke, but Eugeo can’t find it in himself to care. Kirito looks cute when he scowls like that. He laughs, slight exhales at first and then to actual laughter as he goes on, and after a while Kirito laughs as well. It must be the rush of adrenaline after a near-death experience, but Eugeo finds that he would be fine staying like this, laughing until his stomach hurt and making awful vampire jokes to Kirito until he can’t anymore. Until his blood turns to dust and Kirito takes his soul to another world beyond this one, like his very own angel of death.

“You know, a vampire and his blood bag walk into a tower…”

“...I swear to god, shut up or I’ll dock you.”

**Author's Note:**

> yfw no cute kirito grumpy vampire cat just end me now bros


End file.
